How to Plan a Funeral: Step-by-Step

Planning a funeral — often in a matter of days, often while in shock — is one of the hardest things families are asked to do. This step-by-step guide walks you through every decision you'll need to make, in roughly the order you'll need to make it.

The Basic Decisions

Before anything else, the family needs to make a few foundational decisions that will shape everything else:

Burial or cremation? See our article on burial vs. cremation for a full comparison
Religious or secular? The faith tradition (or lack thereof) shapes the ceremony
Immediate family only, or open to the community? This affects venue size and announcement timing
Did the deceased have any pre-planning documents or pre-paid funeral arrangements? Check their important papers — this is the best case scenario and significantly simplifies your decisions

Choosing a Funeral Home

The funeral home is the central coordinator of the process. They handle transportation of the remains, preparation of the body, coordination with the cemetery, death certificate filing, and often the ceremony itself.

Your rights as a consumer (FTC Funeral Rule)

The Federal Trade Commission's Funeral Rule (16 CFR Part 453) requires funeral homes to:

Provide an itemized price list when you visit (in person) or ask for prices
Provide prices over the telephone when asked
Not require you to buy package deals — you can select individual items
Not require embalming except in certain specific circumstances
Not charge a "handling fee" for using a casket you provided yourself

Get itemized price lists from multiple funeral homes before selecting. Prices vary significantly — $3,000 to $10,000+ for the same basic services in the same market. This is one of the largest purchases a family will make under time pressure.

The Arrangement Conference

Once you've chosen a funeral home, you'll meet with a funeral director for an "arrangement conference" — typically 1–3 hours. Bring the following:

Information about the deceased (full legal name, date and place of birth, education, occupation, parents' names — needed for the death certificate)
A recent photo
Clothing if burial, or the urn if cremation with your own urn
Any written wishes or pre-planning documents the deceased left
Payment method (funeral homes typically require a deposit or full payment at the arrangement meeting)

Key Decisions at the Arrangement Meeting

Casket or urn selection

Caskets are the largest single cost in most funerals. You are not required to purchase from the funeral home — you can bring your own or purchase from an online retailer (Costco sells caskets, for example) and the funeral home must accept it without charging an additional handling fee.

Cemetery and burial plot

If burial is chosen, a cemetery plot must be purchased. Many families have existing family plots — check whether the deceased had purchased a plot. If not, the funeral home can typically connect you with local cemeteries, or you can contact cemeteries directly.

Service type

Traditional funeral: Body present, typically at a funeral home or place of worship, followed by burial
Memorial service: Body not present (typically after cremation) — can be held anywhere, any time after the death
Graveside service: Service held at the cemetery at the time of burial
Celebration of life: An informal, personalized gathering focused on celebrating the person's life rather than mourning

Service elements

Officiant — clergy, celebrant, family member, or friend
Music — hymns, secular music, recorded or live
Readings — religious texts, poems, favorite passages
Eulogies — who will speak?
Photo tribute — slideshow or video
Military honors (if veteran) — see our article on military funeral honors
Flowers or charitable donations in lieu of flowers

Notifying Attendees

Once service details are set, notify people through:

Phone calls to close family and friends
Funeral home website and newspaper obituary for broader community
Social media for the wider community (after close family has been personally notified)
For livestreams: share the link in the obituary announcement

After the Service: Immediate Follow-Up

Thank those who participated — officiants, speakers, musicians
Collect signed guest book or attendance list for future reference
Keep flowers or arrange for their donation to a hospital or nursing home
Begin estate administration with the foundation the death certificate provides

For the complete funeral planning overview, see our complete funeral planning guide. For cost guidance, see our article on average funeral costs in the US.